oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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