i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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