Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
