You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
