please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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