Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
