Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
