i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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