That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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