you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
