What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
