i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
