woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
