walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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