As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
