"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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