I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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