so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
