so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
