hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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