We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
