i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
