I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
