Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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