How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
