What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize