does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize