The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
