So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
