thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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