Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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