If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
