I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
