If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
