also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
