Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
