But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
