im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize