hell yes lets make some ravioli
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
