if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
