K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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