what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
