Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We need to get me chipped asap
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
