Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize