it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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