i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
