your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
