You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
