please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
