She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
NoShamevember. You game?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
