I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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