I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize