I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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