I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
