M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the raccoons are back...
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