Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
