I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
