wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
bring money and cleavage
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
