He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
