i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He did a backflip because drugs
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
